When Nobody Has Priority: The Everyday Stand Off

You know the moment.
A narrow street, cars parked nose to tail on both sides, and two drivers heading straight for the same gap.
There’s no sign, no line in the road, nothing to say who should go first. According to the Highway Code, neither of you has priority. So what happens next comes down to manners and a bit of common sense.

Most of the time it works. One car gets there first, the other slows down, everyone carries on and life moves on. But every now and then, it doesn’t go that smoothly.

When Logic Meets Human Nature

It happened to me recently. I was already making my way through a tight stretch when two cars appeared coming the other way. I was clearly in first, already halfway along. But instead of easing off, both just kept coming. No hint of slowing, no flicker of “after you.” They were taking the gap, whether or not there was room.

I had to brake hard and tuck in close to the parked cars to avoid being sideswiped. No wave, no apology. Just that silent “I’m coming through” attitude that’s all too familiar.

And it made me think.
Why is it that predictability, the very thing that keeps us all safe, seems to disappear the moment it’s slightly inconvenient?

Rory Sutherland writes about the difference between being logical and being psychological, how we don’t always act as reasonably as we think. Logically, whoever gets there first should go. But when emotion joins the mix, logic starts to bend.

When it’s us waiting, we grumble about how rude people are. When it’s us with the advantage, we tell ourselves we’re just keeping things moving. Funny how that works.

The Real Priority

The Highway Code says no one has priority when both sides are blocked by parked cars. In practice, the only thing that keeps it all working is courtesy. The first come, first served rule isn’t written anywhere, but we all rely on it.

Break that unwritten rule and everything slows down, or worse, turns into a standoff. Once uncertainty creeps in, people stop planning and start reacting, and that’s when near misses happen.

What struck me most that day wasn’t the inconvenience. It was how quickly confidence can turn into entitlement. Driving should be about awareness and flow, but it often turns into a contest.

The Double Standard

The truth is, a lot of drivers change their idea of fairness depending on which side of the situation they’re on. When it’s someone else’s turn, we expect patience and courtesy. When it’s ours, we go for it.

That inconsistency doesn’t just make life awkward. It makes the road unpredictable, and unpredictability breeds risk, especially for people still learning.

That’s what bothered me most. I was in my tuition car, L plates on the roof. The drivers coming the other way probably didn’t realise it wasn’t a learner behind the wheel. But if it had been one of my pupils, that kind of pressure could have caused panic or a mistake.

We forget that we never really know who’s in the other car. A new driver. A nervous one. Someone distracted or tired. Our behaviour shapes theirs, whether we mean it to or not.

Something to Think About

Next time you find yourself nose to nose with another car on a tight street, take a second. Ask yourself whether you’re being fair or just convenient.

A little patience isn’t weakness. It’s awareness. The few seconds you lose letting someone else through are nothing compared to the cost of a scrape, or the stress of a near miss.

Driving fairly means understanding that every one of us has the same right to the road. The trick is to stay human enough to remember that when it’s not to our advantage.

Because when nobody has priority, kindness is the only rule that really works.